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A husband tells his wife, "Honey, I got you some Aspirin!"
The wife says, "But I don't have a headache."
He says,
"Great! Let's have sex!"
Sex is not an easy fix. You'd have to be pretty out of love to think you can have your sex needs met elsewhere and continue your marriage as normal. Unless you're one of those we have an open marriage types.
Not many men or women want to live in a sexless marriage. Sure there are different levels and components of intimacy... emotional intimacy... cuddling... and then there is sex. Does sex outweigh everything else? Sometimes yes it can but it should not always take first priority.
The brain goes off on one.. is she cheating? Am I not attractive any more? She doesn't want me which means she doesn't love me and our relationship is over. It can make your believe you are the problem solely.
There is a saying. Men are like ovens. Women are like slow cookers. Do you still woo her? Flirt with her? Have the kids become priority and date night never takes place?
You have to show a woman you appreciate and want her for more than just her body or sex. Sex is an act. So saying you want sex compared with wanting her are two slightly different things. You have to sex her brain up first.
Anyhow, chances are something is going on with her. I'm not saying she is broken. I don't even know her like you do. Often when a woman turns the tap off or is no longer interested there is something emotional going on... something upset her, may be she didn't get that promotion, may be there is nothing exciting in life, she's bored... it could be anything. May be she doesn't find herself sexy anymore. Some women and men are different, they don't have an ideal of how married life means sex once a week. The media is misleading with how many times a healthy couple does it. News flash. There is no magic number to aspire to or be at. Some healthy couples have sex once a month or once every three months.
She might even be one of those and had been placing herself under pressure to give in to not see you in a mood.
One thing is for certain. If she doesn't want to get help. Either she doesn't see a problem or it is something she is not ready to face or perhaps doesn't see a problem. Something is not right though. People have to want to fix things or try. If she doesn't she is either depressed or made her mind up.
People do fall out of love or realize they want different things in life. When you love someone you fight for them but if they don't want to be around you love them enough to let them go.
Self service and take matters into your own hands but don't cheat or pay for sex. Try and add a bit of romance if it's lost. Have patience but also have a cut off if you must. Say you take care of yourself for 10 months and she doesn't make a single advance... give her an ultimatum. Get help or I'm leaving. You need to tell her how you feel though and ask what you can do to help things. It sounds like she needs some help.
May be the women can chime in here...
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