2009 BMW X5 -- Errors when driving on rough surfaces

[Tiberius 73]

I have a 2009 X5/E70 which has intermittent issues when driving over rough surfaces such as cobble-stone streets or similar; speed bumps and pot holes don't appear to be an issue.

The problem manifests as a very rapid series of gongs from the cluster and various errors popping on and off. This is similar to a dead battery in that with a dead battery all sorts of errors come on (I had a bad alternator a year back where this happened) and stay on. But in this case they come and go very rapidly.

The errors set in the ECU are numerous and never exactly the same, but some do appear to be persistent:
002E82 DME: Electric coolant pump, cutoff
00CDB9 Message (status EMF, 0x201) faulty, receiver DME, transmitter EMF
006F4E No Message (EMF, 0x201), receiver DSC, transmitter EMF
006DE6 DSC: Sporadic EMF fault. No repair measure necessary.
00600C EMF: Button, parking brake: signal error
006023 EMF: Control unit: faulty power supply
00A558 No message (parking brake), receiver KOMBI, transmitter EMF

There are usually a few other ones, e.g. 009CCD (FRM: Drive, mirror, driver's side, faulty), or it can be the passenger sied. Or other random FRM module errors, or other errors from other modules, e.g. DSC, DTC, ABS and 4x4 (all coming together or not at all).

It feels like a power issue, although the battery is connected tight. Alternator is new. All connections seem tight.

EDIT: Worth noting the car is driven on bad roads a lot. For all 140k miles of it's life.

Any clues?

[bigsteve]

To me, it sound like you have issue with a connector or wiring some where, hard vibrations make the issue appear.
Access to wiring diagrams to see if those modules share a common connector/wire harness seems to be the way to go.

[jbash87]

Replace your ground straps and see if that cures the issue.

[Tiberius 73]

It seems there are two issues;

The first is the connector to the handbrake unit had some loose pins. This is why the hand-brake related errors are always there.

The second issue seems to be the battery itself. It seems it's internals are bad and the shaking causes this to become very apparent.

I soldered the wires into the handbrake unit (no more connector plug) and swapped the battery. The issues haven't returned. Also, buying cheap batteries turns out to be expensive; lesson learned!