If I understand what you're meaning by "normal" tuning, I don't have a direct answer in the form of a shop name to send you to, but generally speaking there are probably only a few shops around the nation that can custom tune the X5M. However, the cost is going to be significantly more than the $300 cable or $1000-1500 flash tune that you mention. Expect to pay a good bit more to have a competent S63 tuner hook up to your car and tweak real-time your DME to maximize YOUR car's output. It is a luxury and privilege to have access to a good BMW tuner.
Canned "flash" tunes ARE the norm for today's cars because not many can (or want) to pay what it actually costs to have a car custom tuned. A remote/canned flash tune gets a car pretty darn close to optimized without spending big bucks to flush out every pony. Plus, it's not like it used to be when "normal" tuning meant putting a car on the dyno and adjusting mechanical settings like carburetor jets, needle adjustments, advance springs, etc. Those days don't relate to modern fuel injected cars.
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