Another note on #1 - there is an active recall on some front driveshafts on the X5, and this may extend to the X6 as well. It's possible this could be a contributing factor to what you are seeing.
Owners manuals on all the US Spec BMWs can be found here. They may be missing a few things since the 40d isn't sold here, but should cover most features.
http://www.bmwusa.com/Standard/Content/Owner/dgh.aspx