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Lowering springs are a compromise no matter what. To go shorter, the spring has to go stiffer. Thus a slightly harsher ride. Luckily H&R and Eibach do not go much more than 5-10% stiffer over stock, and can work with the stock dampers. It should ride just fine. Of course that is a very subjective statement....
If you really wanted to go all out, you would look at a matched set like the Bilstein Prokit, with a lowering spring and matched damper as a kit. Or get the Eibachs, with the Bilstein B8 sprint strut, made for lowering springs.
Ultimately, whenever you're lowering a vehicle, you must get a proper alignment. Safety is not compromised when installed properly, and an alignment performed.
BTW, my wife is a 'lil 5-2 asian and we're almost on our 2nd kid now (any day now)... She'll never go into a lowered car, she likes the X5 as it is. As pregnant as she is now, she wouldn't have it any other way.
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