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Sorry to hear you're experience with the X5 has been so poor. Owning one of these, especially the V8, out of warranty is not recommended. Luckily this happened within the 90 day warranty period, otherwise you'd be in trouble.
I say see what the BMW dealer says. I think it'll end up being rather expensive, and that the Ford dealership likely won't want to pay for it.
If I were you, I'd be respectful and ask them for you money back. No harm, no foul.
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